CAREER CHANGE

Everyday I patiently wait for my train to arrive. I can only take two differnt trains to my stop and it just so happens that those 2 are the most depressing trains known to man.

I am talking about the V and R trains. While waiting I often see the N and W train pass by and gee-whiz do they look snazzy. The glowing white lights of heavenly lumnescence, the shiny stainless steel bars (or Aluminum, who knows), thoughtful stop display displaying the trains route, and complete abscence of all mysterious smells...

...come to think of it, I've never seen a hobo on the new trains.

The R or the V...no such thing. Come on, is our rider demographic so bad or poor we can't get new trains?

I am tired of riding these trains. They encompass all that is depressing about the MTA.

1) The orange and yellow seats.

Orange is a peppy color, full of excitement, so is yellow but not these trains. It probably was bright and fresh once, but after years of being sat on by wholy rigrious asses of New Yorkers and accumilating mystery stains from god knows who, that color has turned into a sad, dull, shell of it's former self.

2) The equally depressing lighting.

The N and W trains have this bright, white lights which inspires confidence and passion. Almost gives you energy...not the case with V and R (or F) It just inspires suicide, homelessness and general disregard of any and all dreams you have. Riding for up to 40 minutes in those pale yellow beams is equal to being told "you suck asshole" for 40 mins by the person you love the most. I am sure this was the lighting used to get information out of detaniees from Guantanamo bay.

3) The wonderful information bar.

The new trains display travel information, weather and time. It has a bar which displays which stops have passed and which are ahead...all encompanied by that wonderful voice of a lovely woman letting you know where you are.

Not the R and V. Nope. Hell, most of the time you don't even know which train you're gonna jump on. I love adventure, but after a full day of work, the last thing I wanna do is star in my own personal videogame of "guess the train". Don't know where you are? good, because you sure as hell won't know where you're going then either.

and there is no lovely voice guiding you. Nope. Only loud, undiscernable, banshee screams of the heaviest accented train conductor they can find to run them. This is a text simulation of what the conductors often sound like on these trains

"HVEHVn(uh *)( hhg8OU7 NYB*(p&hgIP UHPHUIH;98 4RTH4HIUHILuSTANDCLEAROFTHECLOSINGDOORSPLEASE"

4) No Hobos

The new trains seem to have anti-hobo technology. You'll never see one in there. Maybe the lighting is so good that the hobos actually get to take a good look at themselves, scream in horror and run away. Only beautiful people are the new trains.

While I have to ride home with angriest working class, the smelliest and violent of hobos, and the obligatory sandwich passing out guy for hobos.

It's sad that homeless people are more catered to then the paying riders on some of NYC's trains. I am actually thinking of an un-career change.




So come on MTA, make me happy...or I am going hobo and leaving you incharge to feed and house me.